Final Reflection Paper 3
Outcome #1
For my first outcome I have chosen to write about my third and final paper. I think I did the most revising and editing from draft to final on this paper. One major edit that I did from my draft to my final is I added more quotes to each of my supporting paragraphs, and then with the quotes I brought in more detail about how that quote supported my idea and definition of empathy from the beginning. I also noticed that I brought in more detail to my own definition later on in the essay to make sure I tie in my personal idea and the main concept of the essay. Another edit that I made in this essay is that I noticed when going back and editing is that I missed a lot of commas and comma spaces. I realized this when I was reading my essay back and I was stopping or taking a breath reading and there was no comma. I find that this is one of my major problems with writing because I want to get all my ideas down that I just write right away and don’t think about commas or other punctuations. Even though I have become a better writer from working on my punctuations I think my most growth overall is where I connect quotes back to the main idea. We worked on this a lot in class and while I was writing I made sure to practice the things we learned in class, and now it’s just nature to me to say some of the hooks after quotes.
Outcome #2
For this outcome I think that my third paper is the best example of showing conversations with the test and then being able to put my own idea and spin on it. In my third essay it starts off with my describing my own definition of empathy and then throughout the essay I have to tie my idea of it into what the other authors think empathy is. The point as to what the authors say would be the “they say” and then with my own ideas would be a prime example of “I say”. I write for my introduction into one of my paragraph’s “Bloom’s idea of what empathy is, the farthest from what I personally think empathy is. Bloom states that his way of seeing empathy is “I think that understanding people is important, but it’s not necessarily a force for good. It can be a force for evil as well.” (bloom) As we can see here Bloom looks at it more as a bad character trait, where I see it more as a good one. Having empathy for other people means you are willing to help, willing to put yourself out there, and I see that as a positive trait.” Here you can see that I write about what the author says and then I connect it to my own point of view. I confirm that I agree at an extent of what author Paul Bloom says but then I add what I think he is saying that could change, and tie back in my own original idea of empathy. Also here I embed one of his exact quotes to show the accurate way of what Bloom is saying but then change it into my own words for the conversation about relevance to the main idea.
Outcome #5
For me I think this outcome was the biggest improvement this year. I learned many new signal phrases and used them in my writing now without thinking about it. Before this year I always struggled with when to put quotes in and how to say it. In my third essay I think I did this the most and the best. For example, I wrote in my essay Jamison questions in her results paragraph, “How do I inhabit someone’s pain without inhabiting their particular understanding of pain” (Jamison 230). What we learn from this quote that Jamison wasn’t trying to exactly find if the disease was real or not, she wanted to feel their pain, know what they were going through, to write about that. I think this example is the best way I can show that I can bring in signal phrases and embed the quotes as well. On the other side of things I think that work cited and the correct way to cite these essays and articles is still not my strong suit.
Outcome#6
In my third essay this year well-formatted sentences were something that I asked my peer editors to work on for me. Since grammar was a difficult subject for me, I wanted to really work on this for this essay. For example, in my draft of my third essay I picked out just one of the comma splices that I fixed for my final. “What I learned from this quote is that when feeling empathy for someone it zooms in on only that person, you will only feel for that one person.” In this sentence I should have put a comma after “What I learned from this quote,” and then continued to talk. I also seem to have a problem with run on sentences since I just want to get all my thoughts out so that I keep writing and not realizing when I can stop.
